Are you really starting ‘fresh
this new year?’
I think it’s important to check and see whether or not we have truly
forgiven the hurt and bitterness of 2014. It is nice to say “New Year new me”
and say that 2015 is a new chapter but you can’t open a new door until you’ve
closed the other ones or else they will affect you at some point.
The thing people love to do, myself included, is forgetting about
something that hurt us. When given a new beginning, maybe it could be the start
of a new relationship, a new city, a new school or in our case, a new year, we
think we can move on and forget the hurt and the pain that someone or something
caused us in 2014. We have the tendency to just shove it in the deepest part of
our memory and forget about it. While I agree that it is important to move on
in life and that everyone one must carry on and not dwell on the past, I have
found to realize that if you ‘move on’ prior to dealing with something that
affected you, it will come back someday and affect you.
Most of the time, we avoid dealing with something maybe because it was a very disappointing period of
your life or someone hurt us really bad... Regardless of what the problem may have been, it's important to realize that you need to face it before you move on. Give yourself some time to heal of course, but do
not leave that door of hurt open. Forgetting and forgiving are not the same thing and we need to understand that in order
to properly move on, it takes forgiveness rather than forgetfulness.
If you’re like me, whenever someone offends you, you take a while to
think about how the whole thing went down. You'll dwell on how the issue arose and where you may have gone wrong or in the case of a dispute where the other person may have pushed your buttons. You’ll think about how the person upset
you or how they disappointed you or hurt your feelings one way or another and
sometimes you might have to cry it out. In my particular
case, I’m often quick to forgive, especially when I know I was also in the
wrong or when it was a meaningless disagreement, but whenever it is a serious
offense, I will take forever! I have to practically argue and negotiate with God about it. There's no doubt the God will always try to convince us to forgive but because of our emotions, pride and bitterness tries we always try to reason with God in trying to explain to him the entire problem, as if he did not already know. It's not that he does not empathize that he tells us to drop the issue, it's actually for the fact that he loves us that he wants to see us live bondage free. However, since we tend to be so bitter and our hearts tend to be so hardened, we
refuse to be humble and forgive. It takes some sort of humility to forgive
someone who,
- does not deserve it
- is in the wrong
- has not apologized
It’s impossible to forgive if
not for God
I have to admit that it is absolutely impossible to try and forgive
someone on your own. You need the Lord, there is no doubt about it. Because the
sort of love that forgiveness requires is not one that you have but that the
Lord has. You may find that the people whom you love the most are the hardest to forgive. That is very true. But it's not your love that will forgive them, but Jesus' love. To forgive a sinner who does not deserve it... Idk anyone else but Jesus who has experience with that.
He has had to forgive such horrible things you and I have done… He took the fall for my sins the same way He did for your sins. Even before
we commit wrong, He said we’re forgiven, so long as we confess our sins. Only
Jesus can forgive like that.
I don’t know about you but if it were up to me alone, Lord knows I would
never forgive anyone. I would probably be friendless and without a family
because I’ve had to forgive everyone around me at least more than once. You can
be sure that once you understand that you forgive people NOT FOR YOURSELF nor
for the other person, but for God, it will become a lot easier.
The reason we do not forgive for ourselves, like the world says we should, is because we’re selfish and emotional being and we would pick and choose who we forgive based on the degree of the hurt they
caused us. If Jesus were to do that to us, we’d all be found guilty because no
one has offended God to a small degree, we’ve all done so at a big degree!
We can’t
forgive on account of the offender either because we would think that, "they do not
deserve it". If Jesus had that attitude towards us, we would again all be found
guilty, because no one deserves forgiveness from the Lord, which is what makes
Him Sovereign. So in the end, we forgive because Jesus has forgiven us also.
Incomplete forgiveness
You know how sometimes you think you’ve forgiven someone, but then you
see them on Facebook and Instagram all happy and all and you’re kind of bitter or jealous and remember all of a sudden whatever they did or said to offend
you? Whenever that happens it means you’re most likely holding on to a grudge
because you did not completely forgive. However, when the Lord is the reason
why you’ve forgiven, you’ll remember that, “hey this person hurt me, but because
the Lord still loves me for doing wrong, I also have nothing but love for this person”.
Whenever you feel you still have a grudge against someone, simply go to Christ
and ask Him for grace to help you forgive.
Why is forgiveness important
You cannot expect this year to be better than last year, only because
you’ve cut off the people or the thing that were the source of your hurt. You
need to forgive, that’s the only way you will truly be free from the hurt! There
will be some cases where, even after you’ve forgiven, you need to let go of the
person. It’s true, remove all the toxic from your life if you feel led to but there’s
absolutely no way around forgiveness.
The reason it is so important to forgive, and you will hear it from
those who struggled with unforgiveness for a long time tell you as well, it is
because it blocks you from a lot of blessings. Being held up by the past,
limits you from growing and moving forward. Logically, if you are stuck
standing in one doorway, how will you be able to open another door? This is
what I am trying to convey to you guys. As young people we deal with a lot of
unforgiveness, we can’t
let the enemy use that as a blessing snatcher! (Ephesians 4:26-27) If you
really want to start on a clean slate this year, this is the only way to do it: TO LET GO OF THE PAST, by forgiving!
What the Lord says about
forgiveness
You must not forget either that it is a command from the Lord that we ought
to forgive our neighbour for us to also be forgiven by our father (Matthew
6:14-15). Do not fool yourself today in thinking you do not need the Lords
forgiveness. The Lord only listens to the prayers of the righteous! (Proverbs
15:29) So the day you will need Jesus, do not cry if He does not answer you,
you know what He demands of you.
Whenever you refuse to forgive someone, after all that the Lord has gone
through to forgive you of your sins, He considers that hypocrisy and that’s what
the Lord was trying to prove in His parable of the Master and his servant
(Matthew 18:23-35). God is a fair God, He’s clear when it comes to forgiveness
and it’s a fair deal.
If you’re dealing with unforgiveness, confess it to God, not tomorrow or
next week but today! The longer you keep waiting to forgive, the more dangerous
and harder it gets. Because at that point, you are drifting so far away from
God, but God being so merciful, if you only call on His name and confess your
sins and forgive the sins of others, He will come find you and bring you near
to Him.
Many of us are trying to make things different this year to obtain new
results, but one of the main ways to do it is to make sure you’ve let go of
yesterday. Every day of 2015, please ask yourself if you’ve forgiven and let go
of the hurts and bitterness of yesterday. Do not wait until watch night service
of 2016 to forgive everyone on your list. Go before God daily to ask Him for
grace and love to help you forgive your offenders. He knows exactly how you
feel! He has had to forgive some pretty horrible people, YOU INCLUDED. He bore
the sins of the entire world, He has enough love for it and He has given you
that love for you to also give to your offenders.
You will not have a bright year if you are still hung up on
some unresolved problems. I’m not suggesting you confront the people who hurt
you or revisit the issue, just simply have a conversation with God to ask Him
to help you release whoever or whatever has hurt you so you may move on
peacefully.
Happy New Year, from ANY Ottawa
By: Vessel Speaker
Matthew 18:23-35 (NIV)
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked
servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on
your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him
over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your
brother or sister from your heart.”
Mark 11:25 (NIV)
And when you stand praying,
if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in
heaven may forgive you your sins.”
1 John 1:9 (NIV)
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our
sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
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