Is your role model really a role model?

Are you admiring the right people?

Chances are no. Your role model probably isn’t a true role model.

Is it ever possible to tell whether someone is a good or a bad role model? The answer to that question is probably simpler than you think. If the person you are admiring is promoting or supporting a cause or a lifestyle that is contrary to what the word of God says, perhaps this person promotes violence, adultery or disobedience, etc. then he or she is a bad role model. The critical question though is: Are they driving you closer to God, meaning are they causing you to want to know more about Christ, or are they causing you to drift further away from Him by tempting you to sin and be rebellious? If the second option sounds like them, then they are essentially a bad role model. Other proof of this is if this person manages to make you feel inferior and unhappy with what you have or do not have, as oppose to making you feel confident and better about yourself.

Now the controversial aspect of good vs. bad role model is that no one is perfect of course. It would be unfair to expect a perfect and exemplary behaviour from someone 24/7, especially behind ‘closed doors’. There are times when our role models will make mistakes and do things that shock us. Whether the poor choices they make are intentional or not we are unable to tell their true intentions since only God can look into a persons heart. The Lord however, gave us something we call discernment.

It is our job to use discernment and test all things. We must see if what we support is aligned with the word of God. If their morals do not align with His word, we have no business supporting such role models. But a lot of us Christians still seem to adopt a passive attitude towards many of our role models poor choices and crooked morals. 

Some role models will make mistakes occasionally and will sincerely apologize for them while others will make the same frequent poor decisions and not care about the consequences. We can very easily spot those people yet we excuse their behaviours all the time. A bad role model continuously makes poor choices, knowing the kind of influential power they have on others yet show no signs of remorse or responsibility for their actions. These people know the kind of character that is expected of them but instead choose to be selfish and do what they want without any consideration.

If you have little siblings you’ve probably gone through a situation where your mom or dad punished you for doing something completely irresponsible and used the "you're showing a bad example" card. It might’ve been that you made them lie for you, you wasted food, you disobeyed your parents, or whatever the offence was that you knew was wrong. My mom used to tell me all the time “don’t you know your little sister is going to do the same thing as you”. And I would always say to myself “well no one is forcing her to copy me”. I realize now how selfish that was of me because God put me in a position of leadership and influence, and for me to take that influence lightly was wrong. So I was a bad role model because not only did I show a bad example, but I was also aware my sister was looking up to me. If on the other hand, my little sister was old or wise enough to know that what I was doing was wrong, but still decided to imitate me, my parents would have punished her too. They would still yell at me of course because nothing excuses my bad behaviour simply because maybe someday perhaps, another child will notice my bad behaviour and because they themselves do not know any better (the truth), they will imitate me and also reap the same punishment.

So, according to this scenario, us Christians are like my little sister... We know what is right and what is wrong based on the word God. Because we know the truth, we have no business imitating those who are doing wrong, let alone admire them. 

It’s excellent to admire someone for the good things they do. Maybe your role model is a philanthropist making positive change in the world, though the difficulty of admiring a non-believer and sometimes even a believer, is that you will "fall in love "with them. Not literally but this just means that you support them with no questions asked; everything they tweet, you re-tweet, every song they release, you listen and share, every book they write, you read. You just stop filtering for yourself to see if what they are sharing is true, pure or acceptable to Christ. You come to a point where you just 'assume' that since they usually do right, they will always do right. But that's not true. Man will always disappoint!! It's hard though when you love them so much to see them do wrong... You might give up on them after a while because you're tired of their constant poor choices, but at first you’ll find yourself making excuses for them: “he or she is going through a rough time” and everyone’s favorite “no one is perfect”.

Absolutely no one is perfect, except one! We all know that. So why don't we make Jesus our role model then? He knows who we are to begin with; some of us admire people who are in the public eye who do not even know our names or how to locate our country on a map. But Jesus, He has known you from time, even before you were born! Even so, He loves you with an unconditional love that does not waiver based on what we do or do not do. The people we admire are all flawed. Some would insult us and cut us off if we ever offended them or did anything wrong, yes even the Christians, but The Lord promises us that nothing can separate us from His love, not even the angels yo! Another thing, Jesus is perfect! You can be certain of that. I don’t know about you, but He has never done me any wrong. Think about it, when you look up to Jesus, you will not need to worry about Him letting you down or disappointing you. Sometimes, the celebrities I love, do things that disappoint me and it breaks my heart to unfollow them, but with Jesus, He will give you reasons to get even more people to follow Him instead.

Jesus must be your role model...

You’re probably realizing now that there is no point in having a role model anymore because man are imperfect and will deceive you regardless. Only Jesus can lead you to where you want to be. He’s the only one who can teach you success and righteousness more perfectly than anyone else. He’s also the only one who can give you confidence and convince you that you’re beautiful just the way you are regardless of what the others say. “For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1Corinthians 3:11). You can’t learn all of these things without having learned it from Christ first, or else it will not withstand. Find your identity in Christ 1^st, it’s important! The Lord will use certain people to either mentor you or teach you certain things but it’s important to always remember that there can only be one role model you can always count on and that is Jesus Christ.

The bible says in 1 John 2:6 that “Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did”. To be a Christian means to be like Christ. We are disciples, which makes us followers of Christ. We ought to walk in the ways of Christ or else we cannot say that we are of Christ. I know it is hard to accept sometimes, because we love to live recklessly and not really think about the effects of our actions, but we are witnesses of Christ.

The world, who so desperately needs the love and the hope of Christ to cure the desperation, violence and oppression cries of people, are looking at the church in order to find Him. If we are walking according to another ‘gospel’, they won’t be able to recognize the Lord as the saviour.  

The fact that there is a fine line between admiration and idolization makes it even more dangerous to have someone else besides Jesus as your role model. To idolize someone else is a sin. Know that you are not losing anything, but instead gaining everything by imitating Christ. Make sure you follow Jesus, because as some may follow you, (it may be your little sister or brother, your friend or random people who look up to you), they must be led to finding Christ also for themselves. You will be held responsible for those that you lead astray so we need to quit living selflessly and start asking God for grace to be good leaders.

By: Vicky (Vessel Speaker)

1Corinthians 11:1 (NKJV)

Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.

Galatians 3:27 (NKJV)

For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

Ephesians 5:1-2 (NKJV)

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

 2 John 1:9-11 (NIV)

Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take them into your house or welcome them. Anyone who welcomes them shares in their wicked work.